The following story written in one of the local dialects is taken from a local history book, Circa 1920, called 'Furness Folk and Facts'.

If you can follow it all the way through you MUST be a local.

A BREK I' SEEATHET.

 

Its a lock o' year sen, varra near fifty, when fower young chaps frae Oostan set off in a car ta meeak a Jorna ta vota an' Seeathet. They wor gaain' to hev a day owt an' they'd plann'd it o' a lang while afoor an' meead o' riddy.

It's a dree rooad is yon, but they buckl'd it weel an' i' coorse o' time gat to t' far end.

They nobbut stopp'd a bit at Broton an' Oofa to wet ther whissels, for they hed a mosst sayrious bisness on hand, but they nivver bidet ther time till they hed gitten ta t' ahd public house at t' deeal heead. Fower grand fellas wor tha, nin o yer larkers nor offcum soart, but even down Oostan foke as they tell t' landlord. Efter giein' orders about horse an' that, they ex'd for a reet good dinner o' mutton, ham an eggs, an' sed ta ahd Johan, he mud send round an' gie ivverbody a shout, o' t' men foke in t' deeal, ta kom tul a meetin' ta be held in t' big rowm as seean as they hed finnisht ittin.

" Aw reet gentlemen " sed t' landlord, " it sall be dun." They meadd a reet good dinner for ther's nowt like gaain o'er t' fells for meeakin' yan hungry an' efter a smook o' bacca they o' went into t' rowm to wait for t' kumpny. Owt o' a sma' kist they'd browt in t' boddom o' t' car, they layt owt yan o' tew things an' liggt 'em up o't

teeable. An ahd sojer's cooat, a gert brown frizzly wig o' yar, a cock'd hat and fedther, a swerd, ink pot, lang quill pens, gert sheets o' peeaper an' sic like. Yan o' them sat down in t' arm cheer at t' heead o' teeable,clapp'd t' wig on an' t' cock'd hat a top o' that, anudder steead behint 'em hoddin' t' swerd o'er his shoalther, t' thord sat down wi' pens, ink an' peeaper afoor 'em, while t' fourth went to' t' dure an' shout't t' landlord ta bring t' kumpany in. He oppen'd t' dure an' ex'd 'em ta sit down, an' they o' dud, leeakin' fairly gloppen'd ye may be sewer.

Then t' fella in t' cock'd hat gat up an' meead a speech, summat like thissen.

" Frends an' nebbors. I'se reet glad at see yer. We've kom on varra partickler bisniss. It is ta oppen a guvvernment kommishun o' inquiry intul t' possibility o' meeakin' a raylrooad throo Seeathet. Ye knah varra weel as ther's a lyle matter o' yan atween Doton an' Barra ta tak t' mind down ta t' flats as lig on t' shilla, but thatten's neea ewse ta sic like foke as ye. What's mosst terbly want't is a rooad up here ta fetch sleeats an' toppins an' beeasts an' guds an' tayties an' ivverything else ta Wlhytebben, Broton an' Ooston markats an' bring oop heer inta t' deeals o' maks o' stuff as ye want. It'll seeav neea end o' wark an' lang jornas wi' yer nags an' galloways an' coups an' o' thatten an' what's mair ye'll net be fors'd ta bide at yam, ye'll hev mair time an' brass ta spend i' gallevantin' abowt an' seein' t' warld beyant t' fells, if ye hev sooa a mynd. Besides, i' steead o' yan er tew offcum foke lakin' abowt, they'll kom i' hunderts an' fling ther brass away like watter. Ye'll hardly knah yersels in a varra lyle time. Agen, wharivver t' raylrooad gangs, they gie a gert price for t' land an' that'll meeak o' steeatsmen varra yeeable an' fill ther pockats.

These er nobbut triflin' matters that I'se tellin' on, for sic a consarn as a raylrooad meeaks a evven down rummelment an' sides up ivverything an' ivverywhars. Tt meeaks lyle odds ta me but ah hev this 'eer job at mannish an' what ah tak i' hand hez ta be dun i' sum fashun. Ye can toke it o'er amang yan anuther efter o's o'er an' judge for yersels, yit ah hev at infarm yer thet if ennybody hes owt to say for't or agayn it, now's t' time an' pleeas ta speeak up. I'se riddy an' willin' ta tak evvidense frae o' as is heer ta gie et, es t' guvvernment wants at knah o' t' ins an' owts on it."

He leeakt at a list o' neeams afoor em an sed to swerd bearer, " Co Jams Poslet."

" Jamb Poslet " shout't fella behint t' cheer.

" I'se heer " sed Jams, " what dew yer want wi' ma "? " Why," sez t' cheerman, " nowt but what's reet. It's nin a coort is thissen an' neea sweerin' ner nowt o' that mak's need't, but wi' yer leeav ah wad fain ex yer yan er tew things."

Jams kom forrarts, a girt weltin' fella, aboon six foot an sebenty year ahld an' yaps owt, " ex away, ah'll tell ye o' ah knah, ah'll awarnd ye."

" Well, what's yer opinion o' this raylrooad ?" " Ah reckon nowt on it an' care nowt about it. We want nowt wi' neea lakers ner offcums ner nowt else i' this deeal, we've leev'd heer o' wer lives an' we'll dee in't an' we set nowt be ony new fanglement o' t' sooart. Howivver, ah'll nother mel nor mak."

T' cheerman sah he war gaain ta be fairly scomfisht, sooa he sed he wad ex neea mair on 'em owt. He war quite satisfyt an' willin' ta dew t' best for 'em he cud an' he thowt mebbe when t' guvvernment kneaw what a lumpy country it wor an' seea knoppy an' o' screes an' scrogs an' sic like an' terble ahkert an' creeakt for mezzerin' an' o' thatten, they wod mappen fayver gangin' frae Browton ta Kunnistun isteead. He mud git away as he hed a parlish way et gang sooa he beggt they wod 'o tak a sup o' summat wi' him. Sooa he co'd for drinks o' round.

Efter thissen they sid't up ther things an' meeadd off as seean as they cud git t' horse yok'd an' reet glad wor tha to be rattlin' on t' rooad to Broton, but tha nivver let on theer nor neeawhars else what mak o' play-actin they'd bin up tul.

" By gock," sez him ez hed bin t' cheerman. " Thor deeal foke ez nin sic gommerels as I teeak 'em ta be an ah woz eben down pleeas'd ta git owt o' t' screeap as weel as wa dud. Ah thowt ah sud hae full say ower 'em but ah wor mistakken.

" Howivver, we hev'nt o ' tagither mismanisht t' job. Ah'll warnt 'em we've geen 'em summat at meeak a clatter on for a lang while, ay, they'll chitter an' chang an' clack, but bless ma, ah varra neear meead a clotheead o' mesel."

t'end.

Yes, it's English.