Shared Parenting Information Group (SPIG) UK

- promoting responsible shared parenting after separation and divorce -

STIPULATED PARENTING PLAN


Respondent, Mary Smith (hereinafter "Mother")
by and through her counsel .................

and

Petitioner, James Smith (hereinafter "Father")
by and through his counsel ...............

hereby file this Stipulated Parenting Plan.

This plan is intended to resolve all issues related to Parental Responsibility, Parenting Time and related financial issues in the above entitled action.

1. BACKGROUND

The parties were married on ............... in ................. and were divorced in the state of ............. on ...............

Two children were born of this marriage, namely John Smith, born ................ and Jane Smith, born ................

The parties agree that it is best for each of them and their children that a complete settlement is reached regarding matters of parental responsibility.

The children have resided primarily with the Father, and it is agreed that this arrangement is to continue..

This Parenting Plan shall be tendered to the Court. Upon adoption by the Court, this Parenting Plan and every provision of it shall become enforceable as a judicial order and judgment of the Court.

In consideration of these recitals and the subsequent agreements expressed in this document, the parties agree as follows:

2. PURPOSE AND INTENT

The residential arrangements defined below are provided for the best interests of the children. The children's interests are best served by a full and regular pattern of contact with both parents, responsiveness and co-operation by both parents, involvement by both parents in all aspects of the children's needs and a reasonably consistent routine of activities, values and discipline throughout both homes. Absence, inconsistency and conflict are opposed to the best interests of the children

3. PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

3.1 Shared Parental Responsibility. The parties agree and confirm that it is in the best interests of their children that they share parental responsibility.

3.2 Major Decisions. The parties agree they will discuss all major decisions regarding the health and medical care, education, religious upbringing, and general welfare of the their children and shall make all such decisions jointly and in writing.

3.3 Medical Decisions. The parties agree that no major medical procedures or operations be undertaken in relation to the children without joint parental consent, unless in the case of an emergency requiring immediate treatment (within 3 hours), as advised by a legally qualified medical practitioner, and that all reasonable efforts be made to contact the other parent. The Father shall be responsible for keeping all annual exams, dental check ups, and immunizations up to date. The Father shall maintain health insurance for the children. All expenses not covered by insurance including co-pays, and deductibles relating to medical, dental and mental health be divided between both parties based on income.

3.4 Elective Medical Care. The parties agree that non-emergency or elective medical, dental, psychological/psychiatric or other physical or mental health-related treatment for John and Jane shall be discussed and agreed upon by the parties. Non-emergency treatment includes, but is not limited to, care for any illness, cosmetic care, mental health and elective care. Either parent shall have the right to obtain a second opinion, at his or her own expense, on any non-emergency medical, mental health or dental matter.

3.5 Smoking and Vehicle Insurance. Both parents agree not to smoke in the presence of the children or allow anyone else to do so because of the general danger associated with second hand smoke. Both parents shall provide proof of, on an annual basis, a valid drivers license and vehicle insurance liability coverage.

4. ACCESS TO THE CHILDREN

Both parents agree that the other shall have unimpeded and unmonitored telephone access to the children at reasonable times and for reasonable durations.

4.1 Children's Activities. That both parties participate in and share equally the children's activities, in particular their health and schooling activities and programs, including their appointments with medical practitioners, dentists, counselors and the like.

4.2 Records. That both parties have equal entitlement to records of the children's achievement, educational, medical and other similar certificates, reports, and school records. It is agreed that the Father shall be responsible for maintaining the original record and for providing the Mother with copies. In the event a dispute arises relating to the location and ownership of such items, a third person shall hold them in trust for the children until they are twenty-one years of age, while allowing necessary access by both parents.

4.3 Conferences and Appointments. Any conference with teachers, counselors, school administrators, shall be discussed in advance between the parties. Under no circumstance will 'private' meetings with people close to the children in regards to school or counseling will be permitted, unless agreed to by both parties in writing.

4.4 School Forms and Emergency Contacts. All school forms shall be filled out by the Father, and a copy given to the Mother. The forms will not be changed by either party without written consent of the other.

The emergency contact list required by the school will be in the following order:

  1. Gayle Smith (stepmother)
  2. Mary Smith (mother)
  3. James Smith (father)

The order of this list is based on physical proximity of the parents to the school. All parties will be contacted as soon as possible in the event an emergency situation arises at school.

A copy of this Agreement shall serve as sufficient authorization for release of information to either parent.

4.5 Whereabouts of the Parents. If the parties are out of town for more than two days, they will advise the other party where they can be reached in case there is an emergency with the children. That each parent inform the other, by providing the details, of changes of address and telephone number within 48 hours of such changes that affect where the children reside and can be met for and returned from contact visits and contacted by mail and telephone.

4.6 Whereabouts of the Children. Each parent shall advise the other of the whereabouts of John and Jane if they are away from the usual residence of the parent overnight. This shall be discussed in advance with both parties, and the vacation rules apply.

4.7 Extended Family. The parties agree that the relationships of their children with their extended families are important. The parties will reasonably accommodate visits with extended family members by adjusting their parenting time to allow their children visits with such family members. However, each will attempt to schedule time for family members during such parent's own parenting time. Any time taken away from the other parent's regularly scheduled parenting time for such visits shall be considered vacation time. Any changes in time with the other parent for such visits are subject to the rules for vacation - the 14-day advance notice, etc. (see section 6.4.1 regarding written notice)

4.8 In the event of Death. In the event that either parent dies, the children shall still be allowed liberal and continuing contact with the deceased parent's family. The children shall be allowed one weekend a month with the deceased parent's family (not to interfere with school attendance), and 1 week in the summer with them. All expenses and transportation related to this contact are the sole responsibility of the family of the deceased parent.

4.9 Relocation. Neither party will remove John and Jane from the state of ......... on a permanent or temporary basis without the written consent of the other parent or by order of the court.

4.10 Lateness. The children have no duty to wait for more than fifteen minutes for the other parent to arrive for pick-ups. The parent who is more than 15 minutes late for a particular period of time shall forfeit that period of time. Exception shall be made only if the tardiness of the parent is for just cause and the other parent receives both prompt notification and a reasonable estimated arrival time. The parent who is more than 30 minutes late in returning the children without calling to make arrangements and without just cause shall be in violation of this agreement. Pick ups must be scheduled for no later than 8:00pm. If the pick up will be delayed beyond 8:00pm, the parent will forfeit that time with the children.

5.0 FIRST RIGHT OF REFUSAL

If a parent scheduled to have the children is unable to do so for more than a 2 hour period of time during their scheduled time, that parent shall promptly notify the other parent and the other parent shall then have the option to care for the children while the normally scheduled parent is absent. The children shall not be placed in day-care or with baby sitters/friends during any time that the other parent or legally married spouse of the other parent is available and agrees to provide the care.

5.1 Approved list of childcare providers

In the event that neither Father, Mother or stepparent are available to care for or pick up the children, the following people are given both parents approval to care for or pick up the children:

The opportunity to care for the children shall ALWAYS be first given to the other parent or stepparent first before anyone on this list is called. No one can be added to this list unless approved in writing by both parties. Each parent may interview and approve any party on this list.

5.2 Persons Participating in Children's lives.

We agree to inform one another of any persons participating in the children's life. Mary shall have open access to meet with James's wife Gayle, and Mary shall let James know when a "significant other" meets John and Jane, and Mary shall facilitate James meeting that person. Significant means anyone who meets the children more than once in Mary's house or anyone who spends the night while the children are present.

6. TIME SHARING

Attached to this plan is the parenting time schedule for 2002. Both parties agreed upon this schedule on November 14th, 2001 and began following it immediately. Years 2003 and beyond will be governed by the following parenting plan.

6.1 Overlap of Parenting Time Schedules

The different parenting time schedules (Regular Parenting Time, Holiday Parenting Time, Vacation Parenting Time) will overlap at times and it is important to distinguish which parenting time schedules will supersede other parenting time schedules. The order of importance concerning the parenting time schedules is as follows: Holiday Parenting Time, Vacation Parenting Time, and Regular Parenting Time.

6.2 Regular Parenting Time Schedule

The children will spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights of every other week and Monday and Tuesday night of the alternating week with the Mother. The remainder of John and Jane's time will be spent with the Father. This plan commenced Friday the 16th of November 2001.

The current schedule is as follows: For the Monday/Tuesday night block, Mother will pick up both children from Father's residence at 3:30pm on Monday. Mother will return John to school at 8:15am on the following Wednesday and Jane to the Father's residence immediately thereafter. For the Friday/Sat/Sun block- Mother will pick up both children from Father's residence at 3:30pm on Friday. Mother will return John to school at 8:15am on the following Monday morning and Jane to the Father's residence immediately thereafter.

Beginning August 2002, when Jane will be in full time school, Pick Ups and Drop offs are as follows: For the Monday/Tuesday night block- Mother will pick up both children from school at 3pm on Monday. Mother will return them to school on the following Wednesday morning at 8:15am. For the Friday/Sat/Sun block- Mother will pick up both children from school at 3:00pm on Friday. Mother will return them both to school at 8:15am on the following Monday morning.

Exceptions to this schedule: During the summer or on school breaks, location for pick up and drop off will change to the Father's residence. All times will remain the same. During breaks and summer, a midpoint meeting place can be established to assist in transportation.

Every 6 months, the parties will review the schedule and make a long term plan.

The parties will coordinate their schedules and keep a common calendar so that each parent is always aware of John and Jane's whereabouts and the schedule of the other party. The parties will also keep one another informed at all times about where John and Jane are staying and provide contact information for John and Jane.

6.3 Holiday Parenting Time Schedule

Attached to this plan is the schedule for 2002. Both parties agreed upon this schedule on November 14th, 2001 and began following it immediately. Years 2003 and beyond will be governed by the following Holiday parenting plan.

6.3.1 Easter Day

In 2003, and in all odd numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from 3:00pm the Saturday prior to Easter until 5:00 p.m. on Easter day with the Mother.

In 2004, and in all even numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from 3:00pm the Saturday prior to Easter until 5:00 p.m. on Easter day with the Father.

6.3.2 Memorial Day

In 2003, and in all odd numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from the Friday prior to Memorial Day at 5:00 pm through Memorial Day at 5:00 pm with the Mother

In 2004, and in all even numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from the Friday prior to Memorial Day at 5:00 pm through Memorial Day at 5:00 pm with the Father.

6.3.3 Fourth of July

In 2003 and in all odd numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from 5:00 pm the 3rd of July through at 5:00 pm the fifth of July with the Father.

In 2004 and in all even numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from 5:00 pm the 3rd of July through at 5:00 pm the fifth of July with the Mother

6.3.4 Labor Day

In 2003, and in all odd numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from the Friday prior to Labor Day at 5:00 pm through Labor Day at 5:00 pm with the Father.

In 2004, and in all even numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from the Friday prior to Labor Day at 5:00 pm through Labor Day at 5:00 pm with the Mother.

6.3.5 Thanksgiving

In 2003, and in all odd numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving Day at 5:00 pm through the Sunday following Thanksgiving Day at 5:00 pm with the Father.

In 2004, and in all even numbered years thereafter, John and Jane shall spend from the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving Day at 5:00 pm through the Sunday following Thanksgiving Day at 5:00 pm with the Mother.

6.3.6 Christmas and New Years

Christmas will be defined in terms of "first half" and "second half'. The first half shall be from the time the children are out of school for Christmas break until 7pm Christmas Eve. The second half shall be defined as from 7pm Christmas Eve through 5pm New Years Day. After New Years day, the regular parenting time schedule will resume.

In 2003, and in all odd numbered years thereafter, the Mother shall have the children for the first half of Christmas and the Father shall have them for the second half.

In 2004, and in all even numbered years thereafter, the Father shall have the children for the first half of Christmas and the Mother shall have them for the second half.

6.3.7 John and Jane's Birthdays

The parties shall meet and discuss reasonable arrangements for parenting time on John and Jane's birthday each and every year. Birthday parties are up to the individual parent, but are to be discussed between both parties to avoid conflict and repetition.

6.3.8 Parents' Birthdays and Mother's and Father's Days

John and Jane shall spend Mother's Day and the Mother's birthday with the Mother and Father's Day and the Father's birthday with the Father. Mother's Day, and Father's Day shall begin at 10:00am on the Day and continue through 6:00pm the same day. The parents birthdays, which fall on various days of the week each year, shall be discussed at least one month in advance to adjust parenting time that will allow the children to spend time with that parent on their birthday.

6.3.9 Spring Break

In 2003, and in all odd numbered years thereafter, the Mother shall have this holiday. In 2004, and in all even numbered years thereafter, the Father shall have this holiday. This holiday shall start on the day John and Jane are out of school for Spring Break and shall end at 5:00pm on the day before the children are scheduled to return to school from Spring Break. All other Holidays

All other holidays, such as President's Day, Veteran's Day, etc., shall be part of the regular parenting time set up by the parties.

6.4 Vacation Parenting Time Schedule

Every year, each parent shall be entitled to 3 weeks, or 21 days, of vacation, of which two weeks can be taken consecutively. The 3 weeks must be used in a calendar year and may not be carried over.

The parents shall agree prior to April 30 each year as to which weeks will be spent with each parent. If the parties cannot come to an agreement, in 2002 and in all even-numbered years thereafter the Father shall elect which three weeks he shall exercise and in 2003 and in all odd-numbered years thereafter the Mother shall elect which three weeks she shall exercise.

Time with the other parent will be considered vacation when the child is scheduled to be with one parent (per section 6.2 -schedule), and the other parent takes that time away no matter where the child goes. For example- a relative comes to visit and the parent wants the children for the week that the relative is visiting, (2 regular scheduled days, plus the other parents 5 days) those 5 days are considered vacation time and the vacation rules apply. If the parent takes the child away for an already scheduled weekend with that parent, that is not considered vacation.

6.4.1 Written Notice

For vacation duration of 3 days or less: 14 days notice in writing must be given.

For vacation duration more than 3 days: 60 days notice in writing must be given.

Written notice will include the following: Date and time of departure and return, Location of children at all times, sleeping arrangements, address and phone number where the children can be reached at all times and this written notice must be signed by both parties.

When written notice is given, it is ultimately up to the parent who is giving up their time whether the children are permitted to go on the vacation. It is not assumed that approval will be given. This parent will however be reasonable and fair in considering the vacation request.

6.4.2 Removal of Children from State

Neither party may take the children out of the State of ................ without the written consent of the other parent.

Neither party shall seek to obtain a passport for the children, nor take them out of the United States, without prior consultation and the written agreement of the other parent.

6.4.3 Removal of Children from School

The children shall not be removed from school for vacation time unless that vacation time is for an emergency such as a funeral. The children shall not miss any time from school for vacation with either party unless agreed to by both parties in writing.

7. EDUCATION

The children will attend school in the neighborhood where the Father resides.

7.1 Extra Curricular activities:

Both the Father and Mother agree that the children shall participate in the following activities:

Both parties will discuss any additional activities that the children would like to participate in before a decision is made and a mutual agreement must be made in writing. Neither party may sign up the children for any activity without the written consent of the other party.

8. INVOLVING THE CHILD IN CONFLICTS BETWEEN THE PARENTS

Neither parent shall encourage the child to change his primary residence or encourage the child to believe it is his choice to do so. It is a choice that will be made jointly by the parents or by the courts.

Neither parent shall use the child, directly or indirectly, to gather information about the other parent or take verbal messages to the other parent.

Neither parent shall make derogatory comments about the other parent or the other parents' family or allow anyone else to do the same in the child's presence. Neither parent shall allow or encourage the child to make derogatory comments about the other parent.

Each parent shall encourage the children to discuss their grievances against a parent directly with the parent in question. It is the intent of both parents to encourage a direct parent child bond and communication.

Neither parent shall do anything that shall estrange the child from the other or impair the natural development of the child's love and respect for each parent.

Each parent is to refrain from discussion of parental issues during the exchange of the children and the children are not to be involved in any of the parental discussions between the two parents.

9. FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS

That no significant costs or fees be entered into that would be the responsibility of the other parent, either in part or in whole, without the written consent of the other parent.

That all medical, dental, etc. insurance coverage will be kept by the Father, but any costs incurred beyond insurance coverage, such as co pays, deductibles, prescription costs etc., are the responsibility of both parties based upon income. Orthodontic, optical, etc. costs incurred over and above what insurance covers will be shared between the parties based on income.

All school expenses, such as fees, supplies, textbooks, etc. shall be shared by both parties based on income.

10. NAME CHANGES AND ADOPTION

The children's full names shall not be changed, either by common usage or legally, without the children's agreement and the written consent of both parties, or until the attainment of the children's eighteenth birthday.

The children shall not be adopted by another person associated with either parent, or anyone else, while both parents are living.

11. FUTURE CHANGES IN THE PLAN

The parents acknowledge and agree that as they and the children grow older, it is probable that revisions will be required in this permanent parenting plan. The parents acknowledge such changes are unpredictable, and agree to remain flexible with respect to the provisions in this plan.

Acceptance or waiver of any deviations from the provisions of this parenting plan shall not constitute acceptance or waiver of subsequent deviations from this plan. The provisions of this plan shall remain in effect until modified by an appropriate written order entered by a court of competent jurisdiction.

12. DISPUTE RESOLUTION PROCESS

If a conflict arises that is not covered by the provisions of this plan, both parties agree to the following process:

  1. Meet together one on one and discuss the issue.
  2. Consult with the approved Parenting Coordinator.
  3. Seek appropriate relief from the courts.

If either party deviates from this agreement without written consent of the other party, contempt of court charges will be filed, and the party violating the agreement will pay for all costs related to the filing.

13. CONTACT BETWEEN THE PARTIES

Neither parent may contact the other during regular work hours unless it is an emergency regarding the children.

14. CHILD SUPPORT AND OTHER FINANCIAL ARRANGEMENTS

The parties will address Child Support, Dependency Exemptions, Life insurance and all other financial matters in future agreements or with the Court's assistance.

15. APPROVAL AND ADOPTION

The parties acknowledge they have carefully read and understand the provision of this agreement. By signature hereto, the parties each request this Stipulated Parenting Plan be adopted by this Court as an order of the Court.

Dated:

Mary Smith - Respondent

Dated:

James Smith- Petitioner

APPROVED AS TO FORM:

Attorney for Respondent

Attorney for the Petitioner

ATTACHMENT: Schedule for 2001/2002 agreed upon by both parties on .........................

Schedule 2001/2002

Parenting time

The children reside with their father, except for the following times when it is agreed that they shall be with their mother:

Mary Smith's time with John and Jane

Weekdays (2-night block): Assume pick up Monday at 3:30pm at father's house until drop off on Wednesday - John at 8:15am at school and Jane at father's house.

Weekends (3-night block): Assume pick up Friday at 5pm at father's house until drop off on Monday - John at 8:15am at school and Jane at father's house.

November 2001:
Friday - Monday 16th - 19th
Monday - Wednesday 26th - 28th
Friday - Monday 30th -Dec 3rd
December 2001:
Monday - Wednesday 10th - 12th
Friday - Monday 14th - 17th
CHRISTMAS Holiday TIME (1st half): Friday 21st - 7:00PM Monday Dec 24th
January 2002:
Kids off- Jane back 8th, John back 9th
Monday - Wednesday 7th - 9th (John at father's house during day on 8th)
Friday - Monday 11th - 14th
Monday - Wednesday 21st - 23rd
Friday - Monday 25th -28th
February 2002:

Monday - Wednesday 4th - 6th
Friday - Monday 8th - 11th
Monday - Wednesday 18th - 20th
Friday - Monday 22nd - 25th
March 2002:

Monday - Wednesday 4th - 6th
Friday - Monday 8th - 11th
Spring Break is Fri 15th - Sun 24th (Father's this year - mother's 2003)
Easter weekend - (Father's this year- mother's 2003)
April 2002:
Monday - Wednesday 1st - 3rd
Friday - Monday 5th - 8th
Monday - Wednesday 15th - 17th
Friday - Monday 19th - 22nd
Monday - Wednesday 29th - May 1st
May 2002:
Friday - Monday 3rd - 6th
Sunday May 12th - 10am - 6pm - Mother's day
Monday - Wednesday 13th - 15th
Friday - Monday 17th - 20th
Monday - Wednesday 27th - 29th
Friday - Monday 31st - June 3rd
June 2002:
Monday - Wednesday 10th - 12th
Friday - Monday 14th - 17th (Fathers Day weekend )
Except for (10am - 6pm on Sunday the 16th - Fathers day)
Monday - Wednesday 24th - 26th
Friday - Monday 28th - July 1st
July 2002:
4th of July Holiday - Thursday 4th @ 9am - Friday 5th @ 9am (Father's in 2003) Monday- Wednesday 8th - 10th
Friday - Monday 12th - 15th
Monday- Wednesday 22nd - 24th
Friday - Monday 26th - 29th
August 2002:
Monday - Wednesday 5th - 7th
Friday - Monday 9th - 12th
Monday - Wednesday 19th - 21st
Friday - Monday 23rd - 26th
School Starts ~ August 14th
September 2002:
Labor Day Weekend- Sunday 1st @ 12:00pm through scheduled MW block (father's in 2003)
Monday - Wednesday 2nd - 4th
Friday - Monday 6th - 9th
Monday - Wednesday 16th - 18th
Friday - Monday 20th - 23rd
Monday - Wednesday 30th - Oct 2nd
October 2002:
Friday - Monday 4th - 7th
Monday - Wednesday 14th - 16th
Friday - Monday 18th- 21st
Monday - Wednesday 28th - 30th
November 2002:
Friday - Monday 1st - 4th
Monday - Wednesday 11th - 13th
Friday - Monday 15th -18th
Monday - Wednesday 25th - 27th
Boys out school Starting Wed 27th - Thanksgiving: Wednesday 27th @ 5pm through December 1st @ 5pm- Add already scheduled time through Monday Dec 2nd. Boys start back at school Dec 2nd.
Friday - Monday 29th - Dec 2nd
(Basically mother has them from Monday 25th through Monday Dec 2nd)
December 2002:
Monday - Wednesday 9th- 11th
Friday - Monday 13th - 16th
Father's Holiday Time 1st half: December 19th - Dec 24th @ 7:00pm
Mother's Holiday Time 2nd half: December 24th @7:00pm thru New Years eve thru January 1st @ 5pm
Holiday wrap up:
2001: remaining.... 1st half of Christmas
2002: Mother gets 4th of July, Labor day, Thanksgiving, 2nd half of Christmas.
2003: Mother gets Spring Break, Easter, Memorial Day, 1st half of Christmas.


Last updated - 9 May 2002

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