Scene 7

3 Witches, in front of tabs.

Morag             Hello everybody!

Audience         Hello!

Isabel              Well, that just about wraps it up. Everybody lives happily ever after.

Katy                Apart from you-know-who.

Morag             We got fed up with makeover shows, so we've got some new TV programs coming in the New Year.

Isabel              There's one about a grumpy detective...

Katy                "Inspector Morose".

Morag             And a chat show about morals.

Katy                "The Only Way is Ethics".

Morag             We're doing a documentary about that politician who ended up in jail. It's called "Pride and Perjuries".

Katy whispers in her ear.

Morag             No, not him. But we're thinking about doing a whole series.

Isabel              And we're sending some celebrities off to the jungle...

Katy                When's that on?

Morag             Oh, it's not on the telly. We just wanted to make them eat insects.

Isabel              And guess what! We've recorded a novelty single.

Morag             We're calling ourselves "The Gallus Besoms".

Isabel              In fact, we're going to have a little sing right now, before it's time for the finale.

Katy                Hang on, you still haven't told us what happened to Agnes.

Morag             We don't want to talk about it.

Isabel              It was very upsetting.

Katy                Tell us! Tell us! (To audience) You want to know, don't you?

Audience         Yes!

Katy                You will, you will, you will, you will, you will.

Morag             Oh alright. It was at the party in Alloway, the one we have with all the other witches.

Isabel              It takes place in January. Every year since 1791.

Morag             We dance round the fire for a bit, then we play "Pull The Tail Off The Donkey".

Katy                And what happened?

Isabel              It was afterwards, when we were flying home on our broomsticks.

Morag             Well, we didn't know, did we?

Isabel              It wasn't there before.

Katy                What wasn't there before?

Morag             The wind farm.

Katy                Ouch.

(Pause)

Isabel              I think we should sing the song now.

Morag             Right. (To audience) And you lot need to join in. (To Katy) You show them the words, dear.

Enter King Penguin, R, with scroll featuring words. Katy and Penguin hold it up and unwind the words, one line at a time.

Song - 12 days of Christmas. First few verses, then -

Morag             Oh, this'll take all night. Let's speed it up a bit.

They skip to the final verse; then throw sweets to audience, assisted by penguins.