The Scottish Parliament. Politicians, witches, Katy, Macduff, Wendy, all singing and dancing.
Song - "Dancing in Kyle", shortened as required, e.g. -
When the sun has gone down on the
dark western islands
Our work is all done for a while.
Then we gather together whatever the weather
And drive to the dancing in Kyle
There's the swirl o' the kilt and the skirl o' the pipes
And there's Richard Smith's fine ceilidh band.
And it's ah for the eightsome and ah for the jig
And the dashing white sergeant is grand.
When song finishes, some of the politicians continue "birling", spinning round and round on their own.
Katy What are they doing?
Morag Spinning.
Katy Why are they doing it?
Isabel It's what they do. They're spin doctors.
Politicians stop birling, with much laughing and gossiping.
Wendy Oh, Malcolm, I just can't enjoy myself at this ceilidh, not after what happened to father.
Macduff I know. When I heard, I was eviscerated.
Wendy Eviscerated?
Macduff Disembowelled.
Wendy Disembowelled?
Macduff (pause) Guttted. Yes, I feel the same way. It just doesn't seem right somehow, having a party at a time like this.
Wendy And I don't see how we can think about getting married. We have to postpone the wedding.
Macduff I suppose you're right.
Wendy If only we could find out who killed him. I bet it was that horrible man. It's just the sort of thing he would do.
Macduff Macbeth?
Audience Gonnae no say that!
Loose beam in ceiling falls into view, before stopping at precarious angle. Politicians etc are startled and hold up arms to protect themselves.
Wendy If only I could find proof.
Macduff You could pretend to be mad with grief, then collect evidence while nobody notices.
Wendy Oh Malcolm, that's a stupid suggestion. You'd have to be daft to think that would work. Where did you get an idea like that?
Macduff I saw it in a horrible film.
Wendy You mean a horror film?
Macduff No. It was really bad..
Oh no! Here he comes now! Let's get out of here
Enter Macbeth L.
Macbeth Hello everybody!
Politician 1 Must dash! I've got some legislation to prepare.
Politician 2 And I have an executive committee to attend to...
All exit, with much panicking.
Macbeth I say, where have you all gone? Was it something I said? Come back!
Oh well, run away then, you big fearties! See if I care. This is my moment of triumph. I'm in a good mood, and nothing's going to spoil it for me.
Sings song - "Feeling good".
Enter Duncan R, moving sideways.
Duncan Hello, old friend.
Macbeth Oh, it's you. Did I not kill you in the first act?
Duncan I'm a ghost now. (Waves hands in air.) Woooo!
Macbeth tries to poke Duncan in stomach. Duncan turns side-on to audience, to reveal fake hand sticking out his back.
Macbeth Oh, very good. Is that the best you can do?
Duncan Well, I can do this -
As he holds out his arms, an ultra violet light causes a skeleton painted under his clothes to shine through.
Macbeth Now that's more like it. I suppose you're going to haunt me now. Well, don't take all day - I have things to do, meetings to attend, a country to run. You know how it is.
Duncan No, I just came to warn you. You're going to get your come-uppance. And anyway, you don't need me to nag you.
Macbeth Why not?
Enter Mandy Macbeth L
Mandy Hello, Angus dear.
Duncan Because you have her.
Exit Duncan R, screaming.
Mandy Who were you talking to?
Macbeth Nobody.
Mandy I can't get this darned spot out. (Holds out right hand.)
Macbeth What spot? I can't see anything.
Mandy It's blood. It'll show up in DNA testing. We'll get found out.
Macbeth No we won't.
Mandy This is all your fault.
Macbeth Don't worry, dear. If anyone tries anything, we'll just make them disappear.
My cunning scheme has worked, you see,
All Scotland must bow down to me.
At Holyrood they'll do my will,
And those who don't, I'll simply kill.
(Takes Mandy by the shoulder and they exit L, while he laughs maniacally.)
Next scene / Title page / Back