The O'Lee Bible |
| Allegation |
Alligator
impersonation |
| Barbeque |
Britney Spears,
Christine Aguilera, Jerry Hall, Shampoo, Pamela Anderson and Baby Spice waiting in a line
for a bus |
| Bigot |
fuckwit who would
more appropriately be called a smallot |
| Boo Fay |
pre-french-ious
pronunciation of buffet, which (in English) should surely be cockney rhyming slang for
"stuff it"? |
a problem shared is a problem halved (and a
worry doubled) |
| Burberry |
the naaaaarsty
yeucky-beige "tartan" of the mcvictim clan |
| Cable/Digital
TV |
2nd tv licence -
normal channels now so crap that they continually suggest we watch something better
(i.e. the channels they transferred the quality viewing/equity holders to) |
a stitch in time saves nine - but a safety pin is quicker |
| (s)Camelot |
cockney rhyming slang
for steal-a-lot and waste-a-lot (for further examples of rhyming slang consider WAP and
Gap) |
| Capitalism |
Profit for the
benefit of as few as possible, largely our comfortable lives at the discomfort of others |
| a rolling stone gathers no moss, kate moss gathers no stones |
| Cerysmatic |
in possession of a
unique and eye catching dress sense |
| Cool |
not HOT, very tepid |
| Critic |
one who criticises,
in most cases not to be confused with one who creates |
| Designer |
price over
practicality. often a nasty little piece of nylon can add a remakarkable cost to an
otherwise unremarkable item. |
| life goes on, death goes on, life goes on |
| Establishment |
usually bullshit made
legal by red tape |
| Fat Cat |
vile thief, rich on
poor people's money |
| From |
as in
"From £50", means FAR FROM |
| Gormless |
free of
gorm |
he who laughs last, laughs longest
(or maybe takes longer to get the joke?) |
| Labels
(clothes) |
designer or otherwise
- annoying piece of nasty nylon that looks stupid if visible |
| Mayonnaise |
catering pus |
| Mentally
Handicapped |
In-humane, violent,
bigoted, cold blooded, evil, capable of harming or taking life... |
| "a problem shared is gossip" (graham norton) |
| Money |
bits of metal /
pieces of paper, exchangeable for things you DO want/need |
| Music |
salve of the human
soul, nature's communication to her children |
a stitch in time saves nine, but a safety pin is even faster |
| New Labour |
er - new danger |
| Nike |
a "tick"
used to be the logo of a famous anti-sweat deodorant, appropriately it is now best known
logo of a highly sucessful sweatshop. it's phrase "just do it"
is probably used every day to slaves complaining about their tasks. (nike's new
trainers are horrible anyway, they look like banana shaped grandpa slippers...) |
| the geek shall inherit the earth |
| Politics |
bullshit-v-reason |
| Pop Star |
famous fizzy drinks
i.e. Vimto, Tango and various brands of tooth-rot (i.e. cola) |
| Prepared
Salad |
£2.00 for a bag of
fucking leaves |
| a watched kettle never boils. (unless you heat the water) |
| Privatisation |
anti public spirited
profiteering |
| Race
Relations |
When your Aunties and
Uncles see who can run the fastest... |
| Royalty |
UK version of
disneyland characters i.e. pay no rent, wave arms round a lot... |
| Rush Hour |
11mph crush hour in
most cities... |
| never put off until tomorrow what you can put off forever |
| Spinster |
female DJ |
| Style Guru |
According to UK TV, a
posh chick in a cardigan. |
| Tory |
cockney rhyming slang
for "false story" |
| Whirlwind
Romance |
Starts with the
whirl. Often ends with the wind. |
| World Leader |
what the world
respects and would therefore gladly follow i.e. martin luther king, friends of the earth,
bob marley, jubilee 2000, bill hicks, john lennon etc leading the care and salvation of
the planet and all living things on it (i.e. apart from nelson mandela, hardly ever a
politician) |
| Yorke-ing |
dancing fit to
frantic beats of music |
