So, you've spent some time using chatrooms, huh?  Doubtless you'll have heard of IRC then - Internet Relay Chat.  And of all the software used to access this particular chat system, mIRC and it's clones (such as 54Script) are the most popular.
You've downloaded and installed the latest version, and you've connected to your favourite server to start chatting about your latest overclocking feat.  But wait!  What's this?  Everyone is reeling off system stats!  Processor speed, usage, uptime, temperatures, drive space...  How is this done?
The answer is, *very* easily.  I wish someone had written a guide like this when *I* first started using mIRC, but there we go.  Right now, you lucky people, I'll show you exactly how I got a system stat readout on mIRC.

The first thing you are going to need is a copy of MOO.DLL.  MOO is a dynamic link library that interfaces with various parts of your computer.  To find the latest version, a quick search on Google or similar will yield several results.  Or alternatively, ask another user to DCC their copy to you.
The next thing you'll need (if you want temperature readouts) is Motherboard Monitor.  This is a useful programme in its own right and well worth the download.  To set it up, consult the help file that comes with the installation - it'll take you through it set by step.  Make sure that this is running in the background before you start mIRC, or the script won't work!

/LOAD -RS MOO.DLL
/LOAD -RS MOODLL.MRC

This will load the two files into mIRC.  Go into the Tools -> Remote menu, and you'll see that you can edit the MOODLL.MRC file (see screenshot).  If you go into a channel now and type:

/STAT

You should get basic system statistics.  Now for the fun part - customisation!  Experiment with the code as much as you want - it's a fairly simple language, and you can add things to your hearts content.  A few useful tips:

'$+' will remove spaces (without the quotes, obviously!)
ALT + 0160 will print a blank character (for adding spacing to make it look neat)
CTRL + K will bring up the colour menu for you to play with the colouring of your text.

--- BEGIN CODE FRAGMENT ---

alias netdrive {
  if ($round($calc(($disk(z).free)/1048576),2) > 1) { set %disk1 [10CITADEL Boot: 10 $round($calc(($disk(z).free)/1073741824),2) $+ Gb10] }
  if ($round($calc(($disk(y).free)/1048576),2) > 1) { set %disk2 [10CITADEL User: 10 $round($calc(($disk(y).free)/1073741824),2) $+ Gb10] }
  if ($round($calc(($disk(w).free)/1048576),2) > 1) { set %disk3 [10CITADEL User2:10 $round($calc(($disk(w).free)/1073741824),2) $+ Gb10] }
  if ($round($calc(($disk(x).free)/1048576),2) > 1) { set %disk4 [10RATCHET Boot: 10 $round($calc(($disk(x).free)/1073741824),2) $+ Gb10] }
  if ($round($calc(($disk(v).free)/1048576),2) > 1) { set %disk5 [10BEBOP Boot:   10 $round($calc(($disk(v).free)/1073741824),2) $+ Gb10] }
  if ($round($calc(($disk(v).free)/1048576),2) > 1) { set %disk6 [10Local         10 $round($calc(($disk(c).free)/1073741824),2) $+ Gb10) }
  set %disktotal $round($calc((($disk(z).free)+($disk(y).free)+($disk(x).free)+($disk(w).free)+($disk(v).free)+($disk(c).free))/1073741824),2)

  say 3 Space Free10 %disk1
  say 3 Space Free10 %disk2 
  say 3 Space Free10 %disk3
  say 3 Space Free10 %disk4 
  say 3 Space Free10 %disk5
  say 3 Space Free10 %disk6
  say 3 Total Free 10[               %disktotal $+ Gb]
}

--- END CODE FRAGMENT ---

If you put this in your MOODLL.MRC and type /NETDRIVE, you'll get this (remember to change the drive names according to your own mapped network shares!):

-Blacklaw
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