Student Bloopers

The pelvis protects the gentiles

Q. What is an animal with a backbone called?
A. A vibrator.

Q. How can people conserve the environment?
A. Shoot trespassers.

Q. Give an example where the expansion of a solid causes problems and say how it is overcome?
A. Your fingernails grow and need cutting.

Q. Why can a bird sit on a high voltage cable without getting an electric shock?
A. The birds feet are coated with rubber.

The difference between the North and the South is that they are totally different.

Q. What does the sickle on the Russian flag stand for?
A. Chopping people's heads off

Sir Francis Drake played with his bowels while the Armada sailed up the channel.

Magellan circumcised the world in his 40-foot clipper.

Joan of Arc was condomed to death.

An Arab is a man with a turbine on his head.

Q. State one change in boys at puberty?
A. Their vice deepens.

Q. What is migration?
A. It is a headache that birds get when they fly south for winter.

The light is focused on to the rectum at the back of the eye by the lens.

Q. Write down some ways in which radioactive materials can be useful to human beings.
A. Atomic bombs.

Margarine is better for you (than butter) because it spreads easily.

Jenny is a clever girl and wants to go into bonking.

Man is only a nackered ape.

Exams put enormous stains on you.

from uk.education.staffroom, collected by Robert Bassett

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