Sir, - We accept the incisive brilliance of Jeremy Whitaker’s proposal to gate the old A3 road round the Punch Bowl once the Tunnel is opened. But I still think that we might be allowed to continue to enjoy it – at 25 mph – as I suggested on May 20.

   I have friends in the Ramblers’ Association (compare Royal Artillery) who tell me that I’m undisciplined …; but surely many other creatures have reactions like mine. We encounter a little round sign. “25” it says. We react with an unprintable expletive. We can obviously drive a little more quickly, and we are being talked down to with no regard for current conditions by unimaginative and arrogant authority. “25 (on POD)” is implied (on Pain Of Death). How about a few follower signs saying “Thanks for going slowly”, or a thought-provoking: “You too”.

   How is it that the Communist Party in China, the National Trust and Councils around here, et alia, fail to comprehend the senselessness of stamping authority on people and other diverse creatures? After all, sooner or later,

      “Your time is coming up - you’ve had it chum.
      Not long - then ashen white and numb.
      So gradually the realization mounts
      that smile upon a face is all that counts.
      No need to feel inadequate - or doubt;
      no need to throw your weight around - or shout.
      Your misfortunes and your triumphs matter not.
      It’s just some happy smiles - and that’s the lot.”

   The poem is incomplete: quasi-eternal life follows from the succession of smiles of relations and friends… Let’s all cooperate in our various roles, keep smiling, and enjoy the totality of life.

[The following may give offence. Upsetting character here is written for a good cause. The tone is offensively condescending in order to shock. The cause is good and therefore the shock is not in vain. Please note that "sweetie" is a term of endearment. I do love you, and trust you to be strong.]

Sir, - Bemused but dignified she cries “Just so long as he didn’t die in vain”. Sorry sweetie but he did – otherwise he wouldn’t have died would he? Individual British soldiers don’t matter too much, and they die. British bankers matter a lot, and their wanton outrages remain unpunished.

   The soldiers dramatically make use of expensive British arms, and the bankers stimulate the sloshing of vast amounts of money around the financial sector. Both contribute greatly to tax revenues.

   Unfortunately NATO soldiers do occasionally damage innocent villagers. Little creatures watch their siblings maimed – and thus forever loathe the NATO. And NATO leaders have not the wit to study the lives of such peasants in books like The Kite Runner. They are not interested in “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.

   But slowly we are wising up. Albeit indirectly, our soldier’s death has not been in vain. His final courageous smile was not his last.
      “Fading like the Cheshire Cat –
      The smile’s not gone and that’s not that;
      Alice remembers: she smiles too –
      and others do – and so do you.
      Ripples spreading in a pond
      reach outwards unto tout le Monde
      and now with all divinity
      we’ve gone out to infinity”

Dr Charles Warner
Hindhead