a vigil for the Self

long into the night

waiting without expectation

what might I be

no answer was forthcoming

but the question was no more

nothing was missing

the silence was home

meditation

a practice no one can practise

abandoning all hope

free of a doer

no intention or goal

accepting and surrendering

all that arises

going nowhere

for where would one go

and who is there to go

giving all to the moment

the moment that cannot be thought

not knowing, not knowing, not knowing

 

 

drowning in silence

abandoned to the waves

no defence or resistance

offering all that I am

letting it take me

where it will

trusting the infinite

knowing wave is ocean

ocean is wave

there’s nothing but ocean

 

 

I’m there between each breath

but you don’t see me

I’m there between each thought

but you ignore me

I’m there when you’ve attained

your desire

but you don’t acknowledge me

I’m there in your heart

but you don’t feel my beat

I’m always in front of your eyes

but you don’t recognize me

 

 

follow the language

that has no letters, no words

that nobody can speak

that nobody can hear

listen deeply

be open to it

let it embrace you

it is only this language

that will take you

to the secret garden

 

 

oceans

horizon beyond horizon

infinite space

mind without reference

free of all frontiers

there

take your abode

 

 

to know yourself in silence

beyond the mind

without parameter

free of all association

all longing quenched

in the knowing who I am

the last rites have been read

the story book closed

living in unknown territory

each moment fresh, new

no words to define it

living in wonderment


I've not sat down intentionally to write the book, rather the lines, as it were, came to me, sometimes beginning with a feeling, a word or phrase or some point of teaching. This happened whilst walking in the park, sitting on a train, on awakening from sleep etc; many were written at Brockwood Park, a retreat centre in Hampshire.
The writings are pointers to our essence, that which is beyond all appearance and free of all representation. They are an invitation to silence.

The book is available from www.non-dualitypress.com