The Grand Convocation of
Guilds of 1096 AF.
By Kiri Trapspringer.
(For full affect read the whole passage without taking breath).
I went to the thingy of guilds the other night at Master Violet's tower, but didn't get to see much of the tower cause there were bunches of guards all over the place. I was the only kender there, but had an honest invite and the guard let me in just fine - had my name and everything!!
It was sort of boring at first - but I did meet one of the Harts. He had a funny mustache and was writing everything down. And I met the sagey person - everyone says he's senile, but he seemed ok to me. Hetold great stories, like the earth is flat and if you sail too far youfall of the edge, but he didn't know what happened after that and Icouldn't find a boat. And Floris-Brand was there, but don't call him anything else cause he doesn't like it. And I found out I'm an elder type person, but the sage doesn't like them. He says it's cause their elder and he's younger, but he looks elder to me. I mean he has grey hair and everything and he even says he's lived lots and lots of years. And Schadal (can't spell that name!) was there with a really nifty staff that's really Schadal cause he's one of the five immortals, but they're not really vampires unless there's such a thing as an essence sucking vampire, cause Schadal is really the staff so he doesn't have to kill anyone to live forever. Floris-Brand just becomes a split personality and I don't know what Satun does but Gal seems to think it has something to do with marriage cause Lady Katrina was there, but she doesn't have her really nice purple boots anymore, they're black. She said it was something to do with the atmosphere and she brough two creepy things with her that made Schadal cross, but Floris would let him do anything cause they'd been invited by Master Violet. Not the creepy things, but Lady Katrina. But Schadal killed them anyway after Katrina invited everyone but Lord Arcane to the wedding, and she didn't invite him cause he's the leader or something of the Dragons and she doesn't like him, but they were talking together later so maybe he's invited now. And Schadal and Floris had a go at Master Violet cause Lady Katrina was there, but he said she could stay. Or I think he did. Then the guild leaders (who are all very good friends of mine) all made speeches and two mages (with great green hair, but they weren't frogs, they were mages) got different symbols and that was sort of the boring bit. They made their speeches round a nifty violet pyramid thing that's calledsomebody's concentrater cause it concentrates magic cause it's got a void on top of it. But I couldn't get a really good look cause whenever I went to see it the Militia and lots of guards were there. But the guards took it and didn't tell the Militia and the Militia came to me to help find it! And there were two choas warriors there - Reaper and Oblivion - and they were offering great magic items if people would fight for them (they didn't get on very well at all) and they used me as a tug of war string, which isn't much fun at all, but a Celt told me that you shouldn't take gifts from Choas warriors, but I already knew that, and he got killed in the fight, so I guess he didn't take his own advice. Reaper lost - or the people fightning for him did. The only other thing that happened was two green things that were goblins, then humans, then something no one had ever seen before came and left two green rock things that sucked out souls and everyone did a ritual, but then I had to leave as I had to drive the carriage cause Gal can't stand horses. And a very nice person gave me a purple stone and I got a violet coloured teaspoon.
